I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
