I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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