I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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