So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
