Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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