I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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