is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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