This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
