I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
