Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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