I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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