Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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