and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize