Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
