Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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