Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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