Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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