I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize