North Korea, Best Korea!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize