Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
