You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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