Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
