Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed

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(574): View more from Indiana

all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?

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(562): View more from California

I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.

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(207): View more from Maine

A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.

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(317): View more from Indiana

hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.

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(914): View more from New York

Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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(909): View more from California

Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

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(425): View more from Washington

oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture

(1-425): View more from Washington

this is why i will never break up with you

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