Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
handjob tips. give me some.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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