New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
