K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
