tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
