Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
