The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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