??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
