I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
