Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
