no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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