I forgot how hot balto sounded
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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