We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
