I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
