This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize