Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my being single is dangerous.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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