is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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