Plan B is the new Plan A
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
