I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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