then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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