No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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