I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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