does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
