Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
