Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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