I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
