brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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