I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
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I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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