anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
