So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
