I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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