I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
