Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
