Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
