No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
