so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
