As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
