My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
