Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
