Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
