yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
