I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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