the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
