I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize