You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
