Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
