Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
