Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
