Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you didnt know i had herpes?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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